Tuesday, May 31, 2005

The Human Mind

Don't close the window because it looks weird. Believe it or not you can read it.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch taem at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Such a cdonition is arppoiately cllaed Typoglycemia :)-^ Amzanig huh? Yaeh and yuo awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt.

朋友发给我一个连接,上面显示了这么一段话,不管你相信不相信居然可以读得懂....赫赫.

Monday, May 30, 2005

一切都是可能性的问题

生就是被各种可能性主宰的,所谓人的一生,就是在一个迷宫里走出的一条路,每个分岔口的不同选择决定了每个人最终不同的命运。农民可以成为将军,富翁成为乞丐,都有可能。而在每个分岔口时所选择的某条道路的倾向大小因人而异。在同一岔口,给甲十次机会可能选择左边十次,给乙同样十次机会,乙可能左右各选五次。这种倾向就是人们所谓的性格,性格决定命运便是如此。

因此,每个人都要为自己的选择负责,因为是各自的选择,所以走上了什么道路都不要后悔,回到到处的分岔路口,是否自己还是可能选择现在走的这条路呢?如果答案是肯定的,就算现在走的再苦不堪言,也无法抱怨别人,也不用后悔,因为这就是你人生的一部分,是你自己的一部分。

而正是这种各异的性格,才使得人生充满了各种各样的可能性,可能今天碰到一位富人让你飞黄腾达,也可能遇到车祸马上死于非命。我们只有做好自己可以做好的,选择性谁都无法预料。“做好自己该做的,剩下的交给上帝好了。”

Thursday, May 26, 2005

奶奶的病

奶在家里摔了一跤,髋关节骨裂。听妈妈说是前几天奶奶一个人在家的时候突然摔了一下,之后拖着自己的腿给叔叔打了电话,又爬到窗户旁边把楼下铁门的钥匙仍下去,再去把门从里面打开(不知道她为什么一个人在家的时候还把门反锁着),这样叔叔才把她送到医院去。挂断和妈妈的电话以后,赶快给人在医院的奶奶打了一个电话,她说她现在在做牵引, 但是她自己要求做手术,但是医院担心她年纪大了身体条件不允许做手术,现在还在化验中,看到底能做不能做这个手术。但是奶奶却跟我说,她要坚持做这个手术,不管最后的检查结果怎么样。她告诉我,‘反正我都一把年纪了,就算在手术台上去了也没什么。’

其实和奶奶的感情不算太深,小时候在奶奶身边呆到6岁的样子就和父母从奶奶家搬到了武昌,大概之后是每个周末去奶奶家吃一顿饭。爷爷在我出身之前两个月就去世了,死于脑溢血。自从我们搬走以后,奶奶就一直是一个人住。小辈里就只有我表妹是给她带大的,因为姑姑和姑父之间总是不太愉快,表妹就经常和奶奶一直生活。因此,我和姐姐都相对而言和奶奶有些生疏了。

听到奶奶和我说她坚持要做手术的时候,心中并没有太吃惊,更多的是一种无奈的感觉。这种感觉好象是说其实这么多年她都是抱着面对死亡的态度而生活的。这并非意味着她在找寻死亡,而是大概从我爷爷去世以后--虽然爷爷在的时候她是怎样我无从知晓--她已经感到了死亡的力量,她知道并且接受了自己有一天也会死亡的事实。当然,每个人都知道死亡有一天会敲响自己的门,但是奶奶给我的感觉是她并不抗拒死亡的到来,而是将其作为一个迟早来拜访的朋友般。这也大概解释了为什么她始终不愿和自己的子女长住,而坚持自己一个人住在一套三室一厅里,尽管她的三个孩子都和她住在同一个城市。

感觉到奶奶的这种心情是在父亲去世以后,目睹了妈妈的变化。虽然平时似乎看不出痕迹,但是很明显的一点改变是考虑问题的时候会把死亡的因素考虑在内。她的生活因为爸爸的去世改变了太多。两个人的世界突然变成了一个人,以前的朋友也渐渐失去了联系。

奶奶给我的感觉也是这样一来,听妈妈说,奶奶在医院里说的最多的就是自己不愿意给子女添麻烦,但想不到还是添麻烦了。可能这就是她为什么宁愿冒险也要做手术的原因,那样她可以确保能站起来,而不会一直麻烦她的孩子。

很多时候,生活就是这样,我们很多时候的选择其实是没有选择,也只有在这个前提下接受生活的馈赠。在死亡的阴影下坚强的生活。死亡离我们并不远, 就在前方对我们微笑着。

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Let's get some TAN!!

Damn computer lab, couldn't type Chinese!!! Forget it!! Finally, finish all my exams and lectures, so relief...feel like shake off all the burden already. Well, not exactly, but at least this weekend plus next whole week.

Weather is surprisingly nice around this time, nice sunshine, no cloud, breeze... Hope this could last forever. Doing nothing yesterday and today, just laying on the grass, listening to music or talking with friends, reading books, never feel so fresh and happy. Sunshine really cheer me up.

Roberto just told me that I got some tan on my skin, think of the kind of all the tan on me...That must be cool. :D

Approaching the end of the study, I think I'll miss here, recently began to think so...That's what called human, when you begin to lose then you begin to learn appreciation. I'm definately a human as such.

Wont stay long, one and half month to my deadline of dissertation, half month for travelling, and go back home.

Made an appointment with Komla yeterday night, he will come to China at 2008 for Olympics in Beijing, and we could go to Korea and Japan afterwards. In 2010, we go to South Africa to watch World Cup and go around Africa, of coz Ghana, since that's his home country. It would be great if we can make it. We still got time and we can save some money, if everything goes smooth, I just can't be happier. Couldn't wait to make it...I'll leave this here, to remind me the appointment, so that I won't forget it. Life is nice when filled with hope...